Once again I have encountered someone who was in the Way and is experiencing confusion, despair, and ultimately suicidal thoughts. With permission, I share a brief synopsis of her story, leaving out details to protect her identity. Even in doing so, this story within the Neocatechumenal Way world is sadly so common, that I question my ability to believe any bishop that says he has a “no tolerance” stance on abuse within the Church. I suppose these bishops mean more specifically pertaining to sexual abuse, and even then, I would argue that investigations can be generally weak.
This young woman reported that she had been involved with a Neocat community as her parents had become members. She increasingly fell more into despair, and finally during the second scrutiny, she ended up hospitalized with thoughts of suicide. Her parents and catechists refused to accept that her mental state was largely attributed to how the Neocatechumenal Way was making her feel about her outlook on life.
It may be easy to trivialize this one brief story as just someone who obviously had mental issues to begin with, or perhaps that it’s the general state of young people today. My own experience led me to never-before-felt suicidal ideations, and I witnessed an entire charter bus full of young people (numbering 56) for World Youth Day attest that they too had frequent thoughts of suicide (all in the Way, many since birth).
It would be easy to think that with today’s young people, depression is par for the course. Post-pandemic statistics show as of February 2023, suicide is the second-leading cause of death among people age 15 to 24 in the U.S. Nearly 20% of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide and 9% have made an attempt to take their lives, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. While suicide rates are rising among young people, the highest rates are among young adults ages 25 to 34.
Another woman I encountered inadvertently found herself “walking in the Way” without really knowing she was in the Way, as she was never told what going to the catechesis really meant. She reached out after becoming so full of despair that she began questioning her Catholic faith, her faith in God in general, her marriage, and ultimately the purpose of her own existence. Thankfully, she was able to determine what she had gotten involved with after seeing the Neocat logo on one participant, recalling what others had warned about the Neocatechumenal Way, and was able to reach out to untangle the twisted mess they had made in her mind in such a short amount of time.
The term “cult” or sect has been thrown around and most come to think of the worst-case scenarios such as the Branch Davidians, Fundamentalist Mormons, or the People's Temple/Jonestown. A Neocat will be quick to say they are in no way a sect or cult (they don’t even like the term movement as that would imply it’s something new within Catholicism and not the “original” Catholic Church as they claim to be). The Neocat will cite as proof that they have been “approved” by multiple bishops and even the last three popes (you can read more about approval here). The Thoughtful Catholic does a great break down on cult aspects of the Way (see the main page here, specifically under the sub-heading "Cult or Sect?"), and you can read a 1997 article from Cardinal Schönborn (ironically himself a great patron of the Way) on sects in the Church here.
On a relational level, however, here are my own experiences and observations using an adapted checklist developed by Dr. Michael D. Langone, Ph.D., Executive Director of International Cultic Studies Association.
• Does your group show unquestioning commitment to its leader, alive or dead? During World Youth Day, attention to the Holy Father’s papal Mass was far secondary to the gathering following gathering of Kiko Argüello in 2016. Of the two World Youth Day events in which we actually participated with other youth from around the world, we were extremely late and on the outskirts. (Read here for more about the humble cult of Kiko). With Kiko’s age and many faux pas of late, however, the community seems to be distancing themselves a bit from senile Kiko. However, since her death, there is a huge push to get Carmen canonized, and she is even now recognized as "Servant of God". (Read here why that's a terrible idea.)
• Are doubts and questions discouraged or punished? Absolutely discouraged. When I began in the Way, before I even knew I was in the Way, I was simply going along, trusting my pastor, Fr. Felix Medina, and then-catechist Fr. Giuseppe Fedele (curiously now nowhere to be found). Any questions we had we were told would be answered in time. We were continually kept in the dark, we were just "dumb sheep", and told to follow along. If anyone dared to push for further information, they were belittled in front of the community “the Lord has a word for you and you want to get back to the babysitter!” “The Lord wants to have an encounter with you and you and your job comes before the Lord!” These were just questions regarding when the function, already going past 11 pm might end, or how long we should expect to be gone so as to reconcile work scheduled with a weekend “convivence”. Imagine the scrutiny over less mundane questions!
• Are mind-altering techniques such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, and sleep deprivation or overworking used in excess (which, unwittingly or not, often serve to suppress doubts about the group and its leadership)? During retreats, convivences, general meetings regarding Kiko’s Advent Letter, Lenten Letter, World Youth Day; the long hours, sitting and listening to the same mantras of how we are shit, but God loves us in our woundedness, brokenness, etc.; well into the night or early morning hours along with the intensely repetitive Way songs, clapping, and drum beats which have me cringe when I hear them today. There is little to no use for silence within the Way; quiet meditation would be filled with some narcissistic catechist bellowing on and on about how we are simply good for nothing.
• Does the leadership dictate how members should think, act, and feel? How they should dress, where they should live, and whom they should marry? We were strongly encouraged to stay with those only among the communities. Judgment is HUGE. Any question or complaint would be answered with “why are you judging?!" only to find at the convivence that we were encouraged to air our grievances and, essentially, judge. Oddly, I remember when no one really had anything they felt was bad enough to address, we were told we were being fake, wearing our masks. It was as if the catechists wanted us to hurt each other.
• Does the group feel they’re on a special mission to save humanity? Do they see their leader as a special being or an avatar? “You have been chosen, the Lord has called you here for an encounter. To be salt and light”. If you leave…well, you’re Judas.
• Does the group have an us-versus-them mentality? When you’re in the community, you’re “in the club”. Quite literally, on retreats involving the parish, lists are marked with those “already in community”. We were told to keep things to ourselves as those not walking wouldn’t understand - those of course being the other Catholics from our parish. Favoritism among the Neocat parish priest was most notable when you were “in” versus when you were “out”. I slowly started to see long-time parishioners who volunteered or worked for the parish replaced with Neocats who you rarely saw at "regular" church Mass or functions.
• Does the leadership induce feelings of shame or guilt in order to influence or control members? Often this is often done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion. The “open confessions," whether done one-on-one with a priest but with music playing, or within a scrutiny for all to hear - the Way is insistent on getting to know whatever shame you have. They will say it is to help you; "peel the onion", so to speak, but there is no absolution from this. It will be used against you, if not in service of the Way, to label you crazy when you dare to leave.
• Does the group require members to cut ties with family and friends, or to radically alter the personal goals and activities members had before they joined? The Way will occupy so much of your time that relationships with friends and family outside of it suffer. I justified much of my time away thinking I was working on my spiritual growth, all while neglecting my family and friends. Heck, those catechists with big families, and small children, how many times, how many hours do they sit through the catechesis, leaving small children at home, sometimes states away?
• Is the group preoccupied with bringing in new members and/or making money? The catecheses target existing and active members of the Catholic faithful. They are not "on mission" except to convert Catholics to the Way. I once asked why these catecheses continue in the church, not evangelizing those without a church. I was told over time the communities bring in those by invitation, and soon the catechesis engages those outside the Church…this was a lie - the catechesis continues in my former parish to this day targeting regularly attending Catholics.
Passing the trash bag around (because money is trash and evil, but apparently an important and necessary one) was passed multiple times, without clarity on how much was needed to cover the expenses or how much was gathered - ever. I asked our pastor how this could possibly be reconciled in an audit and I was yelled at and told the communities give more than any parishioners. "How so? Where is this “collection” in the statements?" No answer.
• Do you fear backlash to yourself or others if you leave—or even consider leaving—the group? Many people, like myself, joined for a deeper sense of belonging in my parish. You spend so much time invested with these other people, it is one of the biggest reasons not to leave. When someone does stop showing up, rightly, they were to be contacted. I was treated as a leper, told I was weak and couldn't handle it, and looked past as though they never knew me after I left and happened to see them at regular church functions.
The Catholic Church I know and have grown up with encourages openness and being able to ask questions. That my immediate family should be treated as a "little Church" and that my duties as a parent are the most important tasks God has given to me. Those in the Way sometimes espouse these sentiments; however, if I excused myself from a community function such as the Eucharist to attend Mass with my family, to attend my child’s game instead of Liturgy of the Word with my community - I was making my family my idol, according to them. When is it going to be enough for more bishops to say no to this?
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